Saturday, April 19, 2008

Bill Maher's final New Rule tonight on HBO

Classic. In its entirety:

And finally, New Rule: referring to voters who America has left behind economically as "bitter" isn't an insult; in fact, it's a compliment, acknowledging that they're smart enough to understand what's happening to them. The hopeful, now those are some idiots.

So let's separate the bitter (my people) from the idiots.
- If you think the Democrats are going to take away your bible, you're an idiot.
- If you think they're going to take away your gun, you're an armed idiot.
- And if you think they're going to take away your gun and give it to a Mexican to kill your god, you're Bill O'Reilly.

Now, at the end of last week when Barack Obama ignited the "Bittergate" scandal, you would have thought that he had scaled Mount Rushmore, dick-slapped Jefferson in the face, and spray-painted "God damn America" over Lincoln. But he wasn't lying. The truth is that religion and guns and hating gays and immigrants ARE crutches that people lean on; so are fast food, crystal meth, and child beauty pageants, but we don't have time to tackle all of America's addictions in one night.

So let's focus on the big thing: that the people who claim to be the non-elitists are the ones who constantly shift tax burdens from the people who fire you, to you. John McCain voted to repeal the estate tax; voted against raising the minimum wage; has no healthcare plan; and is fine with keeping the working class in Iraq for one hundred years. But he's a "real man of the people". And the president went to Harvard and Yale and inherited your country from his dad, but he's not an elitist because he can neither read nor write.

What does it take to label someone "elitist" these days anyway, they wear shoes? They don't buy their groceries at the gas station? Their dog has a name and their truck doesn't? You know who's bitter in America? I am. Because shit-kickers voted twice for a retarded guy they want to have a beer with and everybody else had to suffer the consequences!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

This was the funniest ending ever, thanks for posting this transcript!

Anonymous said...

This is the best transcript ever. Thanks for the post!