Where are you, Clarence?

Wanted to share a poignant post on a blog I follow, Your Pharmacist May Hate You. Usually it's biting and ascerbic with witty commentary, but this one was touching and appropriate for the time.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009
I Thought Of Clarence Again Today

I don't know how exactly Clarence found a way to stick in my mind all these years. I only met him once, and even then I never actually saw him. Actually I'm pretty sure he was already gone by the time we were introduced, but I have a feeling Clarence will be with me for awhile. Maybe forever. Or at least until I'm old and alone and spending my last days on planet earth like the lady in the cancer ward of the hospital I found myself in sometime in the spring of 1992.

All I was was a college kid looking to knock off my last few quarters of school so I could start making some bank and begin my life. Jesus it seems like so long ago when everything in my head was new. Seems far longer than it's actually been. My clinical rotations were just something that had to be done to get my degree, so I was doing them, dutifully coming in every morning and making my way through the hospital to follow my patients who had to be followed so I could get out of school. I had just bought a brand new car, because my brand new life was ready to begin. I sat down at the desk where I could see the little old lady who was not a patient I had to follow if the door to her room was opened wide enough. She was dying.

"Clarence!!!! Clarence could you come in here? Where are you?" The dying woman cried out. She told me far more about herself with those ten words than you would ever imagine. She was a lady of the farm, an echo of the time when a man worked the land from sunup to sundown and sometimes longer taking care of his family and whatever else needed to be taken care of. The carburetor in the tractor that kept gumming up. The cow in the field that was in danger of dying while delivering a calf. That boy up the road not quite right in the head who broke into the barn last year. Before cheap gas, good roads, Wal-Mart, and high fructose corn syrup turned rural America into a wasteland full of mouth breathing fat-ass cretins, the countryside was full of Clarences. Men with good hearts who worked hard and took care of things. Who took care of their families.

That's what the dying lady told me with those ten words. In reality she told me far more. Now she was old and alone and scared and desperate, and she called out for Clarence. Because she knew Clarence would make things all right the way he had always done. I sat behind my desk and quietly hoped that Clarence just might show up, and make everything all right. The next morning the door to the lady's room was open wide and I saw an empty bed and dutifully followed the patients I had to follow.

None of us will ever really be gone. We'll all leave behind thoughts and friends and family and people we've touched and influenced in ways we will never realize. I have a little bit of Clarence with me, and now, so do you. I thought of him again today. Probably because I was hoping he might show up and make everything all right.

Posted by DrugMonkey, Master of Pharmacy at 12:13 AM

Dominican Republic C.E.

The Dominican Republic mission trip is a mere 4 months away!

Last night, Chris drove over to Chapel Hill after work and attended a continuing education seminar at UNC Hospitals for a recap of the February 2008 mission trip to the Dominican Republic. Grace, our fearless pharmacy leader, presented an hour lecture on what we did, how we stayed healthy, what DR life is like, and how even though 2008's trip was bad enough after just one hurricane, 2009 looks to be much harsher after the island was hit by THREE this year. Afterward, Nancy had a presentation on all sorts of maladies endemic to the DR and what we treated.

It was great to meet up again with the Carribbean cohorts. And another chance to light that excitable fire for 2009's trip down there.

Grace, Nancy, Chris, and a 4th cronie for 2009....Scott, er, Duke!

The "one to two months until something opens up in Greensboro" saga is over.

Chris is finally moving from the land of John Coltrane back to the land of O. Henry. The busiest pharmacy in the district shall be no more as a place of employ. Post-Target, Chris went to High Point "to get his foot in the door" until a spot opened up in Greensboro "soon". Then, as it became painfully aware that staffing High Point was a challenge to say the least, Chris did his time with a smile knowing that there would be reward soon enough.


That "soon enough" has finally occurred a mere year and a half later. Today begins the era of Chris making a triumphant pharmacy return to Greensboro to another 24-hour store.

A commute just 10 minutes away from home? Life is good.

Vroom, vroom!

In my best Dante voice from Clerks: "I wasn't even supposed to BE here today!"

Chris had the day off Monday, after working a 7-day stretch, but our Controlled Substance Inventory was due at end of business. So, in a fit of philanthropic goodwill, he offered to come in from 2p-5p whilst the inventory was done. He walked into an absolute shitstorm. Two techs called out, a relief pharmacist was working the midshift, and our manager only got two hours of inventorying in before he felt compelled to jump in and help. 2p-5p turned into 2p-6p and a flurry of hectic prescriptions...more than requried for an extra couple hours. And Chris wasn't even supposed to BE here today!

So, to backtrack, he's speeding along as usual along his usual 17-minute route from Greensboro to High Point. And then,......disaster.

[Cue European police siren: wee-doo-wee-doo-wee-doo...]

The Po-Po, the 5-0, the fuzz. A nice well-groomed High Point police officer interrupted Chris's travels to work, on a day he [cue Dante] wasn't even supposed to BE at today...

HPPD: Do you know why I pulled you over?
CAG: No, sir.
HPPD: I clocked you doing 63 in a 45.
CAG: [feigning surprise] Oh dear!
HPPD: Where are you going driving this fast?
CAG: I'm on my way to Walgreens, sir. I'm a pharmacist there, sir.
HPPD: Which one?
CAG: The 24-hour one on Eastchester and Main Street, sir.
HPPD: License and registration, please.
CAG: It's in my glove compartment, sir. I need to reach and get it, sir.
HPPD: That'll be fine.

pause pause pause

HPPD: Here's a written warning. No penalty, no points on your license.
CAG: Thank you, sir.
HPPD: Be careful driving. Please slow down. That's a rough store, isn't it?
CAG: Yes it is, sir. Thank you, sir.

Ta-da!!! Utilizing the word "sir" at every opportunity, and telling the officer every single thing you are about to do appeared to have worked like a charm. Plus working at a store that is a shithole and has police presence quite often doesn't seem to hurt.

Tee hee hee! Good to get off scot-free. so that at least ONE member of the driving House of Gordon has an unblemished record. No monies donated to the NC highway fund as there was $100+ "donated" to the Ohio highway fund by a certain House of Gordon member. Tee hee hee!

For some classic Dante, enjoy the following two clips:

Kappa Psi Province V Assembly

This past weekend saw Chris make his way to the yearly Kappa Psi Province V convention. 160 or so brothers from across the region gathered for a weekend of voting, ritual, and fellowship.

Friday afternoon saw the opening gavel, insight into by-law changes to be voted on, and graduate chapter reports. But I digress. First, there's this:

to get to this:
Tasty libations at Great Lakes Brewing (again). Can't go wrong there.

Then at night, Brother Radar and yours truly Brother Flash made the Final Eight (out of 75+ teams) in a cornhole tournament. Yes. Cornhole. It's not what you think! There were some pretty nice boards to play with, including some personalized ones for Brothers who had attended at least 20 Province Assemblies.

Saturday followed with a full day of meetings, a lunchtime continuing education seminar, collegiate chapter reports, elections, a tasty dinner, and inductions. Once the final gavel fell, music and dance brought us into the wee hours. It was a fun weekend fraternizing with Brothers, some I had not seen since college! Trips from Ohio Northern to Buffalo, Ferris State, Purdue, and Wisconsin were all remembered fondly with these far-away Brothers. (Minimal pictures here with the whole "not cool to take pictures during secretive ritualistic settings" you see.) A good time was had by all. Brother Radar organized a great meeting!

Your friendly neighborhood Walgreens pharmacist

Yes. This is what we do.