What about me?...What about me????

I sat there looking ugly
Looking ugly and mean
I knew what you were saying
You were saying to me

Baby's got some new rules
Baby said she's had it with me
It seems a shame you waste your time on me
It seems a lot to waste your time for me

Black

3:00am on a Tuesday night. (Or would you call it Wednesday morning?) Fucking fits of melancholy. Sometimes I really hate what's become of this.

Sheets of empty canvas, untouched sheets of clay
Were laid spread out before me as her body once did.
All five horizons revolved around her soul
As the earth to the sun.
Now the air I tasted and breathed has taken a turn...

And all I taught her was everything!
I know she gave me all that she wore.
And now my bitter hands chafe beneath the clouds of what was everything.

All the pictures have all been washed in black,

Tattooed everything...

I take a walk outside,
I'm surrounded by some kids at play.
I can feel their laughter, so why do I sear?
And twisted thoughts that spin round my head...
I'm spinning!

Oh I'm spinning,
How quick the sun can drop away!

And now my bitter hands cradle broken glass of what was everything.
All the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything.

All the love gone bad turned my world to black.
Tattooed all I see.

All that I am.

All I'll be....

I know someday you'll have a beautiful life,
I know you'll be a sun in somebody else's sky.

But why?
Why?

Why can't it be?

Why can't it be mine?.....

So Sad About Us

Fucking melancholy strikes again.

Things were going just fine until my most favorite band in the entire world pops up on my latest iPod song shuffle. The Who Live at the Royal Albert Hall. Special guests abound (Bryan Adams, Eddie Vedder, Noel Gallagher, etc.) on this CD, with this song featuring guest Paul Weller attempting to drive me down into dark somber realms.

Curses.

But sharing your sadness makes you stronger, right?

All You Need is Me

Tomorrow (Wednesday) is a hop over to Durham for a concert by former The Smiths lead singer Morrissey. A moody evening of mopey, depressing, and dark lyrics set against a backdrop of rather poppy music. Beautifully enigmatic. With my current rollercoaster emotional ride to coincide with recently acquired marital loneliness, it will be the perfect evening to purge the demons...or maybe just exacerbate them into depressing oblivion. Either way it will be a fun night.

The newest single: All You Need Is Me

You hiss and groan and you constantly moan but you don't ever go away
And that's because all you need is me

You roll your eyes up to the skies, mock horrified
But you're still here because all you need is me

There's so much destruction all over the world
And all you can do is complain about me

You bang your head against the wall and say you're sick of it all
Yet you remain 'cause all you need is me

And then you offer your one and only joke and you ask me what will I be
When I grow up to be a man? Me? Nothing!

There's a soft voice singing in your head
Who could this be? I do believe it's me

There's a naked man standing, laughing in your dreams
You know who it is but you don't like what it means

There's so much destruction all over the world
And all you can do is stand there and complain about me

I was a small, fat child in a council house
There was only one thing I ever dreamed about
And Fate has just handed it to me. Whoopee!

You don't like me, but you love me, either way you're wrong
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone

Yeah, so I've been drinking...

It doesn't "count" as country music....it's CAKE!

I'm Not Crying

Ladies and gentlemen, to explain my situation via song, I bring you Jermaine and Bret. The Flight of the Conchords.

Rename my brewery!

At first, it was messy partial boils on the electric kitchen stove. Then, upgrading to a propane burner, it was (and is) full boils in the garage/driveway. Via either method, 27 batches have been brewed since 2000 under the monikers KC Draught Haus, and then the KC Brew Haus (owing to the fact that no beers were ever on draught). 2008 was indeed a banner year for homebrewing, with a remarkable 13 batches brewed just since July!

Maybe a banner year for brewing, but an awful year for marital bliss. As my close friends are now aware, quite possibly the shittiest weekend of my entire life has just occurred, and as a result there is no reason to continue on with the "K" in the KC Brew Haus name. I believe you could surmise what the K and the C stood for, and the K has horrifically made decisions to no longer be a part of the KC. Consequently, the resulting C Brew Haus just doesn't have a good ring to it. Days of numbing despair have subsided somewhat, but only just ever so slightly as the heart does not heal completely after a blow such as this.

Anyway, I have some ideas, but want to hear yours. Click on the comments link underneath this post (immediately to the right of the Posted by Flash at 10:34pm) and offer your own ideas. Offer more than one if you'd like. One lucky brewery name voted on by the house brewing staff-of-one will usher in a new era of Gordonian homebrewing. The winning name will have an outstanding grand prize consisting of a case of whatever ale style you wish brewed for, and named after, you. Now is your chance to go down in history in my BeerSmith brewing log with a batch named after you.

Some of my own ideas:

- Southern Campaign Brewing Co.
(You know I'm a junkie for revolutionary war general Nathanael Greene history.)

- 408 Brewing Co.
(Shoeless Joe Jackson's 1911 rookie season batting average with the Cleveland Indians; a rookie record that still stands to this day.)

- Blue Darter Brew House
(The nickname given to Shoeless Joe's wicked line drives.)

- Lajoie Brasserie
(Cleveland Indian great Napoleon Lajoie and a Frenchy sounding word for brewery.)

- Wookiee House of Ales
(I'm not explaining this one.)

- Dr. Hans Zarkov's Fermented Beverages
(The slightly mad scientist in the Flash Gordon serials/strips/films/TV shows.)

- Casey's Mudville Carboy House
(An homage to the old "KC", incorporating a love of baseball and the fermentation vessel of choice.)

These are mine. What are yours?

Only 5 people read this blog anyway, so the chances of you winning a case of named-after-you homebrewed beer is insanely high.

Show me how creative you can be. Let this be an interactive blog post. I anxiously await the trickle of responses that will rush in with all the power of a leaky faucet. Let's set a deadline for January 25. With the currently saturated homebrew inventory and an upcoming week spent in Washington, DC for the inauguration, I won't be brewing a new batch until February at the earliest. January 25. Three weeks from tonight. Let's hear those names...

I'll post occasional reminders throughout the month if the votes don't even trickle in. Let's say a minimum of 5 names must be submitted before votes (or rather just my one vote) are cast. And feel free to vote for one of my own ideas, I rather like some of them. A vote for one of mine will still count towards your submission tally.

Good luck!

Productive insomnia

Kimberly is frigging out of town yet again, so my day was kept quite busy to prevent madness from setting in. Observe:

Work from 8-4.

Go and browse Williams-Sonoma and pick up a soup cookbook, an immersion blender, and a lemon pound cake mix.

Stop by another of our pharmacy locations to pick up some prescription vials they're lending us.

Log on the computer for generalized surfing but mainly to set my College Bowl Game Pick 'Em league.

Meet two co-workers at P.F. Chang's for dinner at 7:30pm.

Hit the grocery store at 9:00pm.

Drop by my store at 9:30pm to deliver those vials I picked up earlier.

Come home, then spend the remaining hours in the kitchen. First, I make the Williams-Sonoma lemon pound cake.

Make a Funfetti yellow cake I got at the grocery store.

Transfer the Centennial Madness homebrew to the secondary fermenter.

Dry hop the Centennial Madness in secondary.

Clean the heck out of the gunky primary fermenter so I can brew tomorrow. Then rinse, and rinse, and rinse, and rinse, and....

Clean up the kitchen.

And now as this post ends just past 3:00am it's finally time for bed. Tomorrow's a busy day off with plenty of things planned: brewing a "Canadian Ale", making Spicy Chicken Corn Chowder using my new soup cookbook, smoking a huge ass turkey breast, logging on the computer for two hours of live continuing education in the evening, and maybe trying my hand at replicating personal Greensboro restaurant fave Taste of Thai's massamun curry. (Did you read that James? Possible homemade massamun curry.)

Yawn. Good night (morning).

Recent hiatus

Sorry to have been so long in between posts. The inspiration to type on these pages has dulled considerably. An official "funk" has occurred.

I'm sure the process will revert and blogging will return in earnest, but for now it's just not there. The House of Gordon will try to trudge through the fog and dark clouds, so hopefully all 4 or 5 of you will check back occasionally for updates.

In the meantime, what we've been doing this past week or so:
- Triad Stage's performance "Bell, Book, and Candle"
- sampled the carbonated Chocolate-Vanilla Imperial Stout and declared it awesome
- weekend jaunt to Alexandria, VA
- Nine Inch Nails concert here in Greensboro
- bottled Razzmatazz Raspbeery Ale
- bottled Vintage Hop (2007) Pale Ale

-Chris