The ballad of Maxie Damn Doodle

The year was 1997 in August in the tiny podunk town of Ramseur, NC. Hey, Sam's 3 years old. Let's get another puppy.

A farm in the North Carolina country yielded an addition to our little family: Maxie.

Otherwise known as Maxie Doodle, Maxie Damn Doodle, Doodlebug, Fatty, Lunchbox, or the infamous Elmer...since she was almost glue.

Awwww, look at how she waits for us in the barn while the other puppies in the pack race around to the other side. She remembers us. (Little did we know that she was (seriously) mentally retarded and did not have the pack instinct inherent in dogs.)

She was an impossibility to potty train, as instinctually dogs do not mess where they nest. So overnight in the little box just big enough for her to sleep in, she would pee and poop and lay in it all night.

She would run away, race around our house and the neighbor's in our new development's construction zone and return hours later covered in burrs and what we call those "spiny nuts".

She would be submissive and roll over and pee the minute you tried to pick her up off the couch. We spayed her early with exploratory surgery to see if she just wasn't hooked together correctly resulting in her awful urinary habits.

She was impossible to train. She could not be taught. She was a disaster. Our couch was ruined. Our carpeting was ruined.

If we gave her up, she would be beaten and or euthanized for her retardation. We were at a serious crossroads. Open crying and weeping were included as we discussed what to do with this little black retarded dog.

The clincher: it was time to order her an embroidered Christmas stocking with her name on it from Lands' End. This is the final decision. This stocking would determine her continued inclusion in our family.

We kept her.

Now, looking back, Maxie has been one of the sweetest dogs we have ever had. She turned 11 years old yesterday, and still acts like a puppy. She plays with her toys with reckless abandon. She wrestles with Sam. She is our little bruiser. She is Sam's protector. She is an avid hunter of squirrel and bird and rabbit. And she is bionic with two rebuilt ACL's in her hind legs from her Maxie-esque behavior.

A common theme when we look into her deep faraway eyes and experience her carefree happy-go-lucky temperament: "It's always good in Maxie's world."

Happy birthday, Tubby Bitch!