Paralyzed with fear

Snow. Sleet. Freezing rain. Batten down the hatches! Close the schools! We may never survive this maelstrom of inclemency! The town is shuttered! The residents are gripped with anguish!

This morning, does Greensboro look like Denver? Or New England?











Or how about Cleveland? Or Green Bay?














Nope. There were literally days of warning. Evening forecasts predicting a melee. Shouts of our first major snow event since 2003. The locals are stirred to a feverish pitch! The dander is up! The panties are in a twist!

For what? For this:

Imagine if you will, you are not employed in your current situation; but rather, you are a professional meteorologist. A weatherman. A weather forecaster. Imagine the job security in knowing that no matter what you say, no matter how often you are wrong, there is seemingly no repercussion for your ignorance. Just come back the next day with a smile, and forecast the weather out of your ass. Tout your pretty computer pictures and super duper double doppler in commercials. Brag about your inclusion on the news staff. Now, take that auspicious percentage and apply it to your current position. How long would you in fact be employed?

Idiots.

But hey, I'll give them this: later tonight on the news, they will sure tell us what ALREADY HAPPENED in bright cheery colors and pictures and satellite imagery. Which surprisingly, will not mirror what they forecasted would happen in the first place.

I hate weathermen.

Enjoy this "breaking news" email we received from our local fish-wrap this morning. Emphasis and commentary has been added.

Guilford, other area school systems closed

From Staff Reports
Thursday, Jan. 17, 2008

Snow fell overnight in the Triad but switched over to mostly rain by daybreak today. Still, there could be a few more flurries mixed with light freezing rain.

The heavier freezing rain that was earlier predicted seems to not be a threat, as temperatures hover around 32 degrees, not the ideal cold for freezing rain.

"We're starting to see more and more rain reported," [edit: and yet, NOT FORECASTED!!!!!] Jeff Orrock, a meteorologist with the National Weather Service in Raleigh, said about 7:30 a.m. "There could be a few more bursts of snow for the next few hours. "I think as far as snow accumulation ... what you see on the ground now is what you are going to see."

Most school systems decided Wednesday night to cancel school today. Area school systems including Guilford, Rockingham, Forsyth, Davidson and Alamance all are closed.

The winter storm warning remains in effect until 4 p.m.

There were reports of some wrecks, but roads appeared to be mostly wet. "Right now, everything's quiet," said Sgt. JB Sessoms of the Highway Patrol. Along North Church Street stretching from north Greensboro to downtown, there were a few patches of slush but no slowdowns. Traffic was light on Bryan Boulevard in both directions between New Garden Road and Benjamin Parkway.

The city of Greensboro said today its services were running on a normal schedule. Trash pickup is going on as scheduled.